Wannabe Hacker Lumber Jacker Arrested December 5, 2021
USA, (WASARRESTED) -- An individual who attempted to hack into hundreds and maybe thousands of pornograpic websites under the nick name "l33t hax0r" has been arrested on federal criminal charges of attempted unauthorized access to private networks.
Jacker is also accused of credit card fraud in which thousands of dollars were used to buy dildos, liquid latex and inflatable sheep.
"Jacker isn't a hacker. Jacker is what you would call a 'script kiddie' or someone who downloads and runs scripts written by real hackers. Unfortunatley for him the consequences are the same", said officer Cranium.
He went on to say, "If co-workers had not reported their credit cards stolen we never would have cared about this person." The officer also noted that the credit cards were lifted from the individuals wallets and NOT "hacked" as Jacker claims.
Jacker faces a maximum of 4 years in prison and $125,000 in fines if convicted on the federal charges, although sentencing guidelines typically result in much lighter penalties.
Jacker Was quoted as saying, "I am a l33t hax0r! fear me!" over and over again.
Disclaimer: The contents of this page are fictional and are meant for entertainment purposes only. The creators of this site assume no liability for how this site is used. These pages are generated on the fly and are never stored.
Where Did This Story Come From?
The text on this site is Dynamically Generated.
The article is generated dynamically (at the instant of the request) based on the url being requested. The text for the article is pulled from the URL at request time (kind of like Mad Libs). That means you generated the article.